Why Traditional Wives and Homemakers like Ballerina Farm face so much online criticism

There is an unspoken tension between homemakers and women who work outside the home. It’s not that homemakers intentionally stir resentment or seek to make working women feel bad, but in a world that glorifies career ambition and independence from men above all else, the presence of a contented housewife can challenge the deeply ingrained belief that a woman’s worth is measured by her pay check, and ability to survive on her own.

This return to the home is even seen as a “dangerous move”, and a betrayal to feminism, but why? It is so deeply troubling and disturbing to me that in 2025, we are still arguing about and criticising women’s choices. Especially if it’s not the right choice, one that will appease our own kind.

Why are Trad Wives and the Trad Wife trend so controversial?

For decades, women have been told that fulfilment comes from independence, professional success, and breaking free from the so-called limitations of domestic life. Many have spent years climbing career ladders, juggling work and family, and carrying an exhausting mental load.

Then, they encounter a woman who has chosen a different path - one who finds joy in homemaking, who is unhurried and deeply rooted in her home. Without saying a word, the housewife represents an alternative that some have never considered, or worse, one they have dismissed as inferior.

This contrast can bring discomfort. It stirs questions that may feel too heavy to ask. “Did I really have to work? Could I have chosen differently? Have I been lied to about what brings happiness?”

Rather than wrestle with these uncertainties, it’s often easier to project frustration onto homemakers, dismissing them as lazy, outdated, or unambitious. The reality is that homemaking is not a judgment of other women’s choices, it is simply a different calling. A woman who delights in caring for her home and family is not trying to make others feel small; she is simply living out her purpose.

A woman who delights in caring for her home and family is not trying to make others feel small; she is simply living out her purpose.

Deep down, I think many working women long for rest. They also yearn for the peace of a slower life (the rise of #cottagecore and #slowliving trends are testament to this), and for the ability to focus on home without outside demands. Yet, admitting this desire can feel like betraying everything they’ve been told, and quite possibly indoctrinated about, through schooling, culture, and the media, about how modern womanhood is supposed to be…

It begs the question: Who gets to choose what a modern woman should want from life? There used to be wild complaints that men were to blame, but now it’s the women discussing and trying to control other women!

I am proof of this, as my haters and trolls love to call themselves feminists, but their actions and words toward me (and fellow women on social media speaking on this topic) are anything but what feminism stands for, nor are they the type of “women supporting women” they like to claim they are. Can you see why I personally don’t buy into it?

Scores of newspaper articles pick apart the movement too, and many try to label it as something it is not. The world is quite frankly agog at witnessing a woman quite happy to divide the tasks at home, trust her husband to provide for her, raise her children herself, look after the home economy, and be happy doing it.

Just as women have been doing for thousands of years!!!

The world is agog at witnessing a woman quite happy to divide the tasks at home, trust her husband to provide for her, raise her children herself, look after the home economy, and be happy doing it!

As a side note to this: some news outlets aren’t all that bad, this piece about Ballerina Farm is actually good journalism.

Why are homemaking influencers like Ballerina Farm being trolled online?

The frustration some women feel toward homemakers often spills over onto social media, where homemaking influencers become easy targets for criticism and ridicule, espcially when they have such large platforms.

Women like Hannah Neeleman have built platforms by sharing their love for home and family, (while being supported by a husband financially) and this directly challenges the modern narrative that women must strive for career success above all else to be fulfilled.

© Kim Raff for The New York Times

Despite being called the “Queen of Trad Wives”, Hannah really isn’t the best example because they’re selling the idea of Ballerina Farm as a commercial entity, but the issue people have is that their home life is front and centre, and it is rather blatant that she and her husband abide by traditional gender roles. If all her content was about milking machines, butchering the cows, and setting up barns etc, I don’t think people would be quite as interested!

Seeing a homemaker flourish - cooking meals from scratch, raising children with care, and embracing a slower, more intentional life can stir resentment in those who feel trapped in a cycle of exhaustion. I think it comes down to jealousy, really, where Hannah is concerned - she really does appear to “have it all”, and the rest of us pale in comparison.

I’m a little green-eyed about Hannah’s life myself! It’s aesthetic, and it looks charmed - but please remember that you are seeing a carefully curated picture, and this is where the trolls and criticisers aren’t really using their brains!

Rather than confront their own doubts or question the cultural messages they’ve accepted, or look at social media for what it is - they lash out, accusing homemakers of setting women back or living in a fantasy. They also project their fears and deep rooted hatred for a lifestyle they aren’t even leading, onto women like Hannah, and continue to discuss and pick apart a marriage dynamic that isn’t their own!

Online trolling becomes a way to deflect from a person’s own dissatisfaction, shifting the blame for their personal confusion onto those who dare to live differently, judging where they should not, and criticising those who share a different facet of life.

But no amount of criticism can erase the deep longing many actually do have for a home-centred life, and the more homemakers stand firm in their calling, the more they expose the cracks in the lie that a woman’s worth is found outside the home. If they truly don’t care for the content and are actually happy with their lives - then why are they consuming it, pray tell!? Something is amiss.

How do we deal with the criticism homemakers face?

I think the time has come for us to realise that rather than allowing this divide to grow, women on both sides should extend grace to one another. No woman should ever make you feel bad about your choices, or mock them!

Homemakers do not need to apologise for loving their work, and working women need not feel condemned by a housewife’s happiness. And vice versa! There is room for every woman to follow the path she chooses for herself, and no one should feel threatened by another’s joy. Instead of competing and debating, we can learn from one another, honour the good in each other’s lives, and remember that contentment is found not in proving our worth, but living according to our own personal ambitions - whatever they may be!

Homemakers do not need to apologise for loving their work, and working women need not feel condemned by a housewife’s happiness. And vice versa!

Choosing to be a homemaker in today’s world can feel like swimming against the tide. In a culture that often equates success with career achievements and financial independence, a woman who devotes herself to home and family is sometimes met with skepticism, criticism, or even outright hostility. Strangers on the internet mock traditional housewives, questioning their intelligence, ambition, and worth. But their negativity is not a reflection of your value - it is a reaction to something deeper, something within those who criticise.

Your quiet, steadfast devotion to your home challenges the modern narrative, reminding others that fulfilment is not found in busyness, but in faithfulness.

Rather than feeling discouraged by the criticism, stand firm in the knowledge that your work is good, noble, and deeply meaningful.

The beauty of a well-tended home, the warmth of a mother’s embrace, and the peace of a family well cared for - these are the things that truly matter.

Dear online Trad Wives,

I hope what is written above has given you a fresh perspective, and this is a heartfelt note to fellow content creators in this space: If you are a woman sharing your homemaking journey online, I urge you to keep going - but never lose sight of your purpose. You are not here to defend your way of life to those who reject it, nor to seek approval from a world that may never understand. Your voice, your presence, and your work exist to uplift, encourage, and create a haven for those who long for this path. There are women out there searching for a place where they feel seen, understood, and inspired. Be that light for them. Stay true, stay strong, and remember - you are not alone.

With love,